How to be Popular - Step 4: Do not talk about yourself too much

Do not talk about yourself too much

  

This leads on to the next point, and at first glance may appear to contradict what I have said previously. But on closer inspection, you will see how it ties in perfectly with the principles in previous posts.

  

Do not talk about yourself too much.

  

The reason for this may appear quite cynical but I think it is true to varying degrees, depending on the person that you are talking too. The reason that you should not talk about yourself too much is because the person you are talking too would probably be rather talking about themselves. Please do not hear what I am not saying – I am not saying that everyone is selfish and couldn't give two hoots about you or your life, that is obviously not true. But I do believe, and I see it in my everyday experience, that people generally are a lot happier to be the talker than the listener.

  

The more times you create an environment for people to talk at you rather then listen to you, the better. Again, this principle centres on making people feel valued and understood. Instead of talking about yourself, ask more and more questions.

Of course, I am also not saying that it is never good to talk about yourself. There are times when people, family & friends mostly, will be particularly interested in what’s going on in your life. But I am suggesting that your default in everyday life conversations should be as a ‘listener’.

Got it? Good. Step 5 then.